Preheat the oven to 350 F (177 C). Lightly grease and line the bottom and long sides of a 9 x 13 inch cake pan with parchment paper.
Add the rolled oats in a large mixing bowl. Pour boiling milk or water on top of the oats. Allow the oats to sit and soak in the liquid for about 20 minutes.
1 cup (90 g) old fashioned or rolled oats, 1½ cups (360 ml) boiling milk or water
In another large bowl, whisk the flour, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg and salt together until well combined.
1½ cups (180 g) all purpose flour, 1 teapsoon baking soda, 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon, ½ teaspoon ground nutmeg, ½ teaspoon salt
In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with paddle attachment, cream the butter, sugar and light brown sugar together for about 3 - 4 minutes or until well combined. Turn the mixer down to low. Mix in the eggs and vanilla extract one at a time, waiting until each one is combined before adding the next. Add the dry ingredients to the wet, alternating with the soaked oats (including all the liquid from the oats) in this order: dry, oats, dry, oats, dry. ½ cup (113 g) unsalted butter, room temperature, 1 cup (200 g) granulated sugar, 1 cup (200 g) light brown sugar, 2 large eggs, room temperature, 1 teapsoon vanilla extract
Pour the oatmeal spice cake batter into the prepared pan. Bake the oatmeal cake for about 35 - 40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out with a few moist crumbs. Cool the cake in the pan.
As soon as the cake finishes baking, make the caramelized coconut and pecan topping. Add the butter, sugar and milk to a saucepan. Bring the butter, sugar and milk to a boil over medium heat. Stir frequently to ensure the butter melts and the sugar doesn’t stick to the pan. After about 5 minutes of boiling remove the pan from the heat. Stir in the vanilla extract, shredded coconut, pecans and salt.
½ cup (113 g) unsalted butter, 1 cup (200 g) light brown sugar, 1 tablespoon milk, 1 cup (60 g) unsweetened shredded coconut , ½ cup (60 g) chopped pecans or walnuts, ½ teaspoon vanilla extract, ¼ teaspoon salt
Evenly spread the topping on top of the warm cake. Allow the topping to set for about 10 - 20 minutes, slice and enjoy. If you want to broil the topping, turn the broiler on as soon as the cake is removed from the oven, prepare the topping, top the cake and broil for about 1- 3 minutes.